My Shallow Two Cents

I wish all pretty guys were gay and drunk. They tell me I'm "beautiful," and my outfit is "cute." I met this gay boy at Rage two nights ago, and he couldn't stop commenting on how he liked my beautiful eyes and that my outfit was really cute. He said that if he weren't gay, he'd have asked me to go dance with him. What a pretty boy. If he wasn't gay, I'd have gotten laid already.

*

After years and years of searching for the perfect big yellow bag, I finally found it. The only problem is, it's $200, and it feels so wrong to be spending that much money on something as mundane as a big yellow bag. But I was half in love with after within two seconds. I actually thought I was seeing love and understanding the meaning of love when I saw it. If you get it for me, I promise I will love you forever. Sadness, I'm not even kidding. Check out UrbanOutfitters.